As I have launched heart first into the creative flow of ideas, allowing what comes, shunning nothing and letting my body do as it came here to do, there has been a serious JOLTing of my inner wiring. I’ve been HIGH as a happy hippy kite flying through the sky on nine clouds full of fantastic ideas AND I’ve been LOW as mud puddle six feet deep (i’m only 5′ 4″).
I’ve also been wedged somewhere in the middle, between not overly happy nor overly fraught– somewhere between caring way too much and caring way too little. The somewhere nowhere where I want to be.
This evening I had to question myself.
Holy shit lady, are you on the right path? Why don’t you just screw all the mind games. As artisticly luring and seductively fulfilling as they may seem they are only a distraction. You should shut it down NOW and get back to being deeply devoted to the spiritual path.
In other words I was worried that I was wasting a whole lot of time writing, quilting, youtubing, editing, social media-ing, flyer-ing, inviting, circling, gathering, hopin’, wishin’, and prayin’ to do more then just get by AND plz God to just get by as a creative person pursing herself.
I took two minutes to myself outside to hush up a bit-you know- BREATH. I had worked myself into quite the frenzy and was seriously on the verge of blaming others again; that ancient knee-jerk reaction I am really quite sick of. Let me tell ya….
It is a AMAZING what two minutes can do.
What I realized – which was actually more of a déjà vu experience than an instantaneous epiphany- was that while on the devoted spiritual path I was just as much inwardly distraught AND then frequently elated as I am now on the creative path. I suddenly remembered how Fu*$ed up I felt the deeper I got into my practice. I also remembered how rewarding it was.
The clarity, the serenity, the silence, the sudden understanding, the blah blah blah… all that bliss.
All that same shit and all that same bliss… I am feeling now as budding creative.
It comes in waves but it all returns to the same ocean
Here is what I’ve noticed from my humble human(oid) experience:
Spirituality and Creativity – I capitalize them both out of sheer awe – have three main attributes in common:
- They are both incredibly effective at fu*%ing up the mind
- They inherently provide equivalent sufferings and joys
- They both have built in systems to source relief from all of the above… 1) a fu$&ed up mind, 2) suffering, and 3) Joy (relief from joy? yes, it is a thing)
SPIRITUALITY AND CREATIVITY ARE BOTH INCREDIBLY EFFECTIVE AT FU*%ING UP THE MIND
In my experience the deeper I dove into the spiritual the more I had to deal with my state of IDENTIFICATION. The mind wants sooooo badly for you to hold on to it. Truth with a capital “T” is the very last thing the mind wants you to discover. Because in the ultimate knowing of Truth, the mind (and the person attached to it) is annihilated, destroyed, dead, gone.
Yeah, no thanks… it is very comfortable with its suffering thank you very much.
The mind will distract you – attack you – convince you that you should just stop the hub-ba-lub and get back to living a normal shitty life.
Sound farmilar? The same thing happens as an artist delving deeper into the creative process. The mind fights you, says you suck, says you should give up now, says that your worthless and will be a total failure.
If you want to survive as a creative, if you want to survive in the truth of the self, you MUST ignore the mind. It’s gotta go. It’s gotta die.
The closer you are to the truth, as a spiritual seeker, or as a creative THE MIND WILL ATTACK YOU. So let it. IT WILL PASS. Ignore it. It will pass. You must NOT BELIEVE IT.
The mind is not who you are
Let it get screwed. Screw it. If the mind knew the way you’d already be there.
SPIRITUALITY AND CREATIVITY INHERENTLY PROVIDE EQUIVALENT OPPORTUNITIES FOR SUFFERING AND JOY
Both paths set you up for the unearthing of all the programs (for better or for worse) that keep you repeating the same old patterns lifetime after lifetime. Over and Over and Over again the processes shine a direct light on the issue of your identification. All problems are personal. If you are no longer the person/personality you once were, then there is no problem.
What can happen on the spiritual path (it happened to me) is that I became IDENTIFIED with the role of the spiritual seeker. I had to meditate more because I wasn’t getting clear enough. I had to focus my energy more. I had to listen to more spiritual teachers. I had to do the right practice.. maybe I should go to India! You know? You can get caught in a loop of the perpetual seeker and never (it seems so anyhow) find out who you really are.
The same goes for the aspiring creative. I have to write more. I have to take more classes. I need to get paid for this. I must prove to myself that I am on the right path. I need a big break. I have to succeed. I’ve got to get better. It’s a trap.
For both paths there are also those elated moments:
As a creative, YOU DO HAVE MIND BLOWING SUCCESS. Then, still identifing with the person who had the success. It wears off. You are back on the loop of trying to get there again.
and thankfully SPIRITUALITY AND CREATIVITY BOTH HAVE BUILT IN SYSTEMS TO SOURCE RELIEF
The Practice. The Practice. The Practice. It is all helping. It is all moving you up to where and when you will discover who you really are. Don’t identify with the practice. Just do it. Every single thing you do as a spiritual person, and as a creative person is helping you WAKE UP.
On the spiritual path the built-in relief from mis-identifcation is, one, SELF-INQUIRY
Who am I?
For whom do these thoughts come?
Don’t stop asking yourselves these questions.
Two, if you can’t get to self-inquiry right away then start with DEVOTION. Surrender it up. It’s not yours to deal with. The higher power knows the way. RELIEF IS HERE.
On the creative path the built-in relief from mis-identifcation is, one, CREATE
Do the thing
Get lost in the thing.
Two, if you can’t seem to get sucked into the flow then get sucked into the APPRECIATION of it. Whether its yours or anothers, indulge in the art you love so much. Relish in it. RELIEF IS HERE.
Creativity and Spirituality. Spiritually and Creativity. They are my versa vice. I’m hooked on both. They have me right where they want me.
Do away with me already
Regardless if life is spent as a spiritualist, a creative, or even a pure scumbag, it is a spiritual and creative expression of the self. The self is beyond all definition, and beyond all identity. It is all there is. So don’t worry about it.
Choose whatever you are going to choose and know in your heart that it all has already been chosen.
Do whatever your body came here to do and know in your heart that it has absolutly nothing to do with you.
I am Chelsea – a writer, fabric artist, mama, and earth lover. I’m creating an artist residency and retreat of epic proportions and also launching an earth based kids magazine. You can become a part of my supporters on Patreon for as little as $1 and allow me some technology upgrades to keep making awesome videos! On this blog I write advice on freeing your creativity, living your best life, and wild-raising a kid to be joyously themselves. Keep in touch through Instagram, and Facebook. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel Happy Hippydom for new videos every week.